A Day of Being Broken

Today I am broken. All it took were thoughtless words and a lack of care and the walls of resolve, that I had built up to help me deal with the hard lessons life was dealing me, came tumbling down. The tears flowed and flowed – until in the end I couldn’t even explain why I was crying. I had stockpiled tears. Kept them inside until the space was full and they had no choice but to spill out. Once the dam was broken they didn’t stop and now, as the day comes to a close, my eyes are dry and scratchy feeling. My heart is sore and just for this moment I have to lay aside this heavy backpack I’ve been carrying and allow myself to feel broken and depleted. Tomorrow I will pick it up again, strap it to my back and carry on. There is no one else who can carry it for me. No time for self pity. Tomorrow I will put myself back together and once again look for the joy in my life. I will be there once again to keep my family together, to keep everything functioning as best I can. I know I have a lot to be thankful for and I can recognize that the tears are healing and necessary. The pressure valve has been released. Tomorrow I start again.

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About embracingtheimperfections

I am a mother of six children. My children's ages range from 20 down to 1, so we are dealing with a lot of different ages and stages, not to mention a lot of different personalities. One of my twins has cerebral palsy so that adds yet another dimension to our lives. Along my journey so far I have learnt that life is far from perfect and that sometimes it's the imperfections that round out the harsh edges and give it a quality that is precious and unique. My love of the imperfect extends into my home life too. I love all things vintage, hand crafted, home grown and home cooked. I love to be creative and I love learning. I am definitely not a minimalist! I aspire to be tidy and organized but I am realizing that with six children, three cats and a crazy black Labrador that is probably beyond my capabilities, so I embrace the beautiful chaos that ensues!
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4 Responses to A Day of Being Broken

  1. Marianne says:

    Iยดm sending you a {{{{{{{virtual hug}}}}}}} and hope that you have a much better day today, Ann.

  2. So sorry to hear that things are so hard for you at this moment.
    Sometimes it helps to let the tears flow and feel the pain. It can be very relieving in a strange way.
    Give yourself time to heal and to recover.
    Sending special thoughts to you.

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